Friday, September 10, 2010
RARRR
I am angry at everything. I am angry that I spent so many years being "friends" with people who are just the crappiest friends in the world. I got a call from a "friend" of mine two days ago. This person was in my wedding and one of my best friends for years. I have not heard from her since I found out that Owen was sick. Not when he was sick, not when he died, not after the funeral. Nothing. But 2 days ago.... apparently that was a convenient time for her to pick up her f*ing phone. I decided that I had one of two options. I could answer, and really let her know how I felt, or I could just ignore it and keep living my life without her in it, as I have been doing for some time now. I took option 2, and decided it wasn't worth the blood pressure spike to answer the phone. She didn't even leave a voice mail. It's almost laughable to think about, if it wasn't so f*ing disgusting. Even without answering the phone, I still walked around the house swearing at the audacity of her picking up her phone over 3 months after he's gone.... to what? Say hey? See how things are going? F OFF. That's what I would have said had I answered that call. I am not a big enough person to forgive that.
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I am sorry you have a friend who can't be a friend to you. I have a similiar situation. A friend who had a baby just a week before Wyatt was born. No calls all summer, just FB messages. I seem to think it is because they don't know what to say. But one would think, as a friend, they should figure it out. How about just a "I am sorry for your loss, can I do anything?" That would be good enough for me.
ReplyDeleteI am really sorry that there are such shitty people out there.
that makes me sick to my stomach. i am so pissed off for you!!!!!!!! arg!KLJ have either of you felt that this time, the now, the three - four months later is the worst. i want to just die, sleep and never wake up. do anything to be with him again. i hate it all
ReplyDeleteYes I feel that way. I hate it all too.
ReplyDeleteI know. Lately I've been feeling like - either I'm crazy or the WORLD is.... either this has woken me up to reality or I stepped out. But, in any event I have to relearn how to relate to people and I've learned somethings about people that I love that I'd rather not have have learned.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for your story... ugggh - that is about as bad as it gets. Really. Come on people. Are we that hard to approach? Is the subject that unbearable? Are they afraid our "bad luck" will rub off? I just am so distraught when I encounter people who can't seem to handle it - I mean, we are the ones who have to handle it...how hard it to stand there, be there?? I've been around people who actually see my tearing up and they act as if it is not happening...their eyes start to search around the room and all body language is total discomfort... what the hell is with that? It is so weird...and what do you to with that.
This whole view of people is another aspect of this - that just adds insult to injury - to have to witness people not be able to handle it when we are the ones who are in a nightmare... and it does, it really does piss me off- I have a lot of anger too when I find myself there...and grrrrr to this...